And the parrot points up and says, "shhhhhhhh".

I don't know but man my ass hurts!

That cat's not so smart - I beat him two out of three games

are you kidding? With a pig that smart, you don't eat him all at once!

and then the monkey said..... balls! heh heh heh

no....it's a tree!

The Swallow.

one is for me and one is for my date.

...and the dog says, "I've never had five dollars before!"

We can save the lady, but I'm afraid it's too late for the rabbi.

The one in front is sick and the other one is pushing it to the hospital.

The light lunch was my idea.

Help me find my keys, and we can drive out of here.

a baby's arm holding an apple

A can of pop and a bag of chips.

Then why don't you scratch it!

Are you guys all on the same team?

How do you think I rang the doorbell?

Too bad mother wasn't here, we could have saved the horse and wagon.

While you were upstairs talking, we were down here enjoying hot buttered corn.

Move over honey, I have to gargle.

I'll take cash, please.

That's what she said.

so i said, "well, if that's a canary, then who's your wife?"

No doctor, I'm fine. I'm just chewing a toffee.

and the genie said, "so do you want 2 lanes or 4?"

....and the last hole was my milking machine!

"... not being retarded!"

"What do you mean, wrong hole?"

so the duck says "...got any grapes?"

so the Pope says, "Can I borrow an eraser?"

wanna go camping?

"no nurse, i said 'butt light'"

"Fuck me, It's a talking dog..."

"Some cunt's nicked our tent!"

Rectum?!??!?!? It damn near killed 'im

"Well mostly I sit around watching porn and eating cheesy Wotsits"

"suicide..? no, i just hung him up to dry"

the man grunted in reply "that's why the banana didn't fit."

so the doctor says, "there's my stethoscope, now where's my watch?"

they forgot the formula for ice

"mommy mommy turn on your headlights, there's a snake in the grass"

"nice tits"

You think i would really wish for a 12" pianist?

....thats not my finger!

yes i've been to uranus

"...quickly, hand me that piano."

"not so tough now, are you Batman?"

"no, it's not that, it's just that's the ugliest son-of-a-bitch Caribou I've ever seen!"

It's not you, it's the guy dipping potato chips into your neck.